I developed the 4 Single Archetype Persona’s from working with women all over the world.
I found some core feelings, behaviours and beliefs that were keeping the women who came to me for dating & love coaching feeling stuck in love, and they often fell into one of 4 categories. A woman may feel she fits more that 1 archetype persona, yet usually leads with one main one. Of course, this is not exhaustive and cannot cover every individual experience…
Yet, I found that when women understood their archetype persona, not only did they gain more insight into why they felt stuck in love, it provided solid ground to create healthy changes that resulted in creating healthy, joyful relationships.
Of course, we are all individuals and life and love has many moving parts – and my clients have found these very helpful in their journey to true authentic love. To understand themselves better, and why they may be stuck in love.
Maybe it will give you some insight?
There are 4 Single Archetype Personas: Clever Clueless, The Sultry Dreamer, Golden Go Getter & The Noble Nurturer. (Take The Why Am I Still Single Quiz)
Today I’ll talk about:
THE CLEVER CLUELESS
Clever clueless sometimes feels she has no idea what to do with men.
If this is you, you probably don’t have a clear and healthy blueprint for healthy relationships. A blueprint can be formed by how relationships were at home growing up. This doesn’t mean you have to have had a terrible upbringing, it can just mean that it really wasn’t great either. And so, there’s little healthy blueprint for how to interact with men in a healthy way.
Often the relationship with at least one parent was problematic.
You may find yourself single for long periods of time, and you actually don’t tend to get a lot of attraction from men or attention in a romantic way, instead you find you get friendzoned; so you tend to feel looked over.
Although men love to converse with you and connect with you on a mind level; when it comes to actually asking someone out, they tend to gravitate towards your friends, and that’s that can be quite hurtful at times.
Clever clueless is a very clever astute, woman, and she loves to learn, she can have a brilliant, bright, wonderful mind & maybe she is naturally curious.
However, I have found with Clever clueless there may be cultural or religious beliefs, family culture beliefs that are holding you back in love. Beliefs about love, relationships and marriage and commitment – and what that actually means to you, and what you think that will mean for you in your life moving forward.
This is usually subconscious.
Very rarely do we walk around the world thinking: “Oh well! My dad always said, marriage is a trap, so now my subconscious belief is – marriage is a trap, and that’s why I’m having so many issues in relationship!”
Or “When I become a wife, I’ll have to give up my career… that’s what happens to women”.
No, that’s not how it goes.
Usually it’s completely under the surface, and there seems instead to be an invisible forcefield between you and your love interests. you just can’t seem to get through and it feels so disheartning.
Perhaps you have a tendency to be a bit anxious; so you might freeze when you do see a person that you like, you feel a bit silly, &you find yourself doing stupid things you wouldn’t normally do ir say – it’s like you’ve lost control of your limbs and mouth and they’re acting independently of you!
You feel like you don’t know what to do and you don’t want to say in the company of a man you like.
One of the big things for Clever Clueless to understand why things aren’t working so well, is that you tend to connect with men from the head instead of the heart.
If you desire a beautiful connection, it requires an open heart from you, and that means a level of transparency, a level of openness, and a level of honouring who you are. If you’re a little geeky or have unusual tastes of interests, or you just feel a bit awkward – the path forward is owning that piece if you and loving it totally.
When you only focus your conversation on trying to appear witty, or intellectual, or staying in very safe unfeeling conversation -you’re not connecting at a deeper heart level and so the person more likely sees you as an amazing friend, but then you might get stuck in that friend category.
Because you fear rejection, you tend to be in your head thinking: “What does this person think of me, what shall I say?” So instead of being authentic, you’re also afraid to say what you really think and feel – incase you say the wrong thing.
This reduces the transparency in the heart to heart connection.
Yet the truth is, deep down you’re desperate to connect! You want to you want to feel safe with that guy but it just doesn’t happen.
All your friends thing you’re great, people really trust you, they really rely on you, and you have lots of fun with your friends -it’s just that when you’re in the company of men, something seems to change – and it’s keeping you stuck.
If you’d like some recommendations on how you can create some change to get unstuck in love – take my Quiz, and I’ll tailor my responses to your Single Archetype Persona!